Another Chance
by larajla
Summary: Susan's replacement ranger is due to arrive before they leave Io for Babylon 5.


This story was written to take place after Season 4.

Spoiler alert! Do not read unless you've seen the last of the Ivanova/Cole saga.

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None of the characters are mine! They are all the property of JMS, the creator of Babylon 5.

Special thanks need to go to Jennifer Waer who did my beta reading.

NOTE: This was originally on Unicorn Storybook, 1998.

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**Another Chance**

by Laura Rajsic-Lanier

Captain Susan Ivanova dressed quickly. She was running late. The replacement Ranger was supposed to dock five minutes ago. Since the war with Earth and the subsequent actions taken, all Earthforce ships had one resident Ranger. Susan applauded the act. She always knew what was going on. The formal reports of Earthforce often carried the same information, but rumors and other items of speculation that never made it into the reports were always available from the network of Rangers that operated around known space. It was often that extra bit of information that allowed her to make a more informed command decision.

_Damn, I need to make a good impression and I'm late._ She grabbed her uniform jacket and started buttoning it. Charlie Christen, their Ranger for the past two years, had been reassigned to a post closer to his wife. Charlie had been very happy, Susan knew, but now she had a new Ranger to break in.

She'd always gotten along with Charlie. He'd been a friend of Marcus'. Quite a few times, they'd sat and got drunk together, reminiscing old times. When Susan missed Marcus the most, Charlie would come up with some story that would make her remember the good times. He was the main reason she'd been able to deal with Marcus' death as well as she had.

Charlie had been gone less than a week and she missed him already. She hoped that the next Ranger could take Charlie's place, but she knew better. No one could take Charlie's place just like Charlie could never take Marcus'. When he'd left, Charlie had made sure Susan knew where he would be if she needed him. He'd also made her promise if she needed to talk to contact him…any time day or night.

The door chime broke into her thoughts. _Great. Not only am I late, they have to make sure I *know* they know. She_ frowned. She didn't even know the Ranger's name. John had said the original replacement met with an accident. They were shuffling the Rangers around, trying to get her another one. She said she could wait, but he insisted she'd have one before she left Io.

"Come," Susan yelled, not bothering to turn around. At least her coat would be buttoned and her uniform presentable, even if her hair was flying everywhere. She heard the door open and shut, but no one said anything. She placed the well-controlled, "I-am-the-captain" look on her face and turned around.

"Marcus," Susan whispered as she turned white with shock, looking at the familiar figure that stood in her doorway. She wanted to run to him, yell with joy and be sick all at the same time. "You're dead. You can't be here," she gasped.

"Death is extremely overrated. Nothing to do all day long. They actually expect you just to lie and enjoy it. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I decided to come back. Did you miss me, Susan?" Marcus stood rigid in the doorway. It was the only way he could stop himself from running up to her and putting his arms around her. He watched her closely, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Are you real?" Susan asked, still not convinced that her mind was playing tricks on her. She wanted to go to him, touch him. Her feet seemed rooted to the ground. She couldn't move.

"If I'm not, someone's playing a bad joke on both of us. Stephen says I'll be a hundred percent in a couple of weeks." Marcus grinned at her. "I might not be able to perform up to your previous Ranger's standards, but I was hoping you'd give me some leeway since I've been dead for a couple of years."

"Why didn't John tell me…?"

"I asked him not to. I didn't want to give you a chance to say no." Marcus looked her in the eye, waiting for the initial shock to wear off.

"Say no to what?"

"Having me here on board, serving with you."

"Why would I say no?" Susan asked, not understanding what he meant.

"We didn't part the last time under the best of circumstances."

"You mean, giving up your life so I could live? I don't think circumstances could get any worse." Susan suddenly understood. If she hadn't…didn't love him so much, she probably would have said no, she admitted. Marcus knew her better than she knew herself.

She forced her legs to walk up to Marcus. He looked poised to flee. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, enjoying the feel of him…the scent of him…all of him. All of the feelings she'd been trying to get over came back in full force. She didn't understand how, but she didn't care. He was here. He was with her. He chose to be with her. Susan started crying as she realized she was being given another chance.

Marcus wrapped his arms around her as she started crying quietly. He was waiting for anger, not this. Stephen said something monumental had happened after he died, but refused to say more. His favorite words had been "patient confidentiality" for the last few weeks. Those same weeks, Marcus had used every argument he could think of to convince John, as he insisted Marcus call him, and Delenn to assign him to Susan's ship. Stephen was worried that he wasn't physically up to it. Marcus wouldn't take no for an answer and eventually won.

Now, he was here. His beautiful, strong Susan was crying and holding him fiercely. He didn't want to be anywhere else. He realized that they were meant to be together. He would do anything to make the pain go away, but he had caused this pain. Had his death meant more to her than just the loss of a friend? They had to talk. His sacrifice. His return. Her reactions. It all needed to be shared and the pain dealt with. He could wait a little longer. He'd waited this long.

The link signaled an incoming message. Susan told it "audio only", not moving from Marcus' arms.

"Captain, I'm sorry to interrupt, but you're needed on the bridge." Susan recognized the voice of her first officer. She could hear the curiosity in his voice. Obviously everyone knew what was going on, except her.

"I'll be there shortly, Ivanova out." Susan still didn't move from Marcus' arms. She raised her head and looked him in the eye, her face wet from tears. "Marcus, I want you to promise me that you'll never do anything like that again."

"I had to…"

"No." Susan placed her fingers over Marcus' mouth. "Promise me, please." She refused to look away. His promise was too important to her. She couldn't go through losing him again. It hurt too much the first time. Marcus saw the determination in her eyes.

"I promise I will never save you by taking my own life again," he solemnly swore.

"Good." Susan smiled at him, ignoring the tears. "I have to get cleaned up and get on the bridge before they send a search party for me." She pushed herself from Marcus and went into the bathroom to wash away the signs of her tears.

"I can't wait to get to my quarters and get some sleep," Marcus admitted, yawning. "I didn't realize how tiring travel could be."

"You're not going anywhere." Susan told him, coming out of the bathroom with a towel in her hands. "The bed is through there," she gestured towards her bed. "I won't be back for eight hours or so. We can talk then."

"My stuff is in my quarters…"

"I'll pick it up on the way back here." Susan saw that he was going to argue. "Marcus, you're not leaving my quarters until we talk. I'll post a security guard if I have to, but I'd rather not do that."

"All right…but which side of the bed do you sleep on?" Marcus joked. Susan glared at him.

"Go to bed, Marcus. Get some sleep. I have a feeling we're going to be up late tonight." Susan walked up to Marcus and placed her hands on either side of his head, slowly pressing her lips to his. "I'll see you later," she said and left.

"That went well," Marcus said to no one. His lips tingled where her lips had touched them. He smiled. _Being a prisoner isn't a bad job. Let's go find that bed._

Marcus walked into Susan's bedroom slowly, his exhaustion growing every step he took. He moved towards the closet. He opened it to hang his cloak and stopped in amazement. On one end of the closet, he found the clothing and cloak he'd worn before his "death." Stephen said that Delenn had given Susan his things as there was no one else to give them to and she had refused to destroy them. He didn't think Susan had kept them. He hung up his new cloak next to the old one and closed the door.

_What else did she keep?_ Marcus looked around the room, ignoring the exhaustion that was telling him to lay down. _Why did she keep my clothing? _He shook his head, unable to answer the question.

He looked around her bedroom and noticed a few trinkets that were his. He picked them up one by one and then placed them back where she kept them. He found her jewelry box in a drawer and opened it, curiosity driving him onward. Inside, he found his pike and original Ranger's pin. She'd kept everything. An odd ache started in his heart. Suddenly, he knew that she had cared for him as much as he cared for her. Tears formed in his eyes. He told himself it was the stress of the trip after everything he'd been through. He was tired. Carefully, he closed the drawer, making sure everything was as he had found it.

He removed his boots and crawled under the covers, comforted by the fact that he was home.

Susan hurried back to her quarters. She'd been so on-edge her entire shift that she was sure the staff were happy to see her go. In fact, she'd even left half an hour early. _One of the perks of being captain,_ she smiled at herself.

She stopped by Marcus' quarters and grabbed what little luggage he had. She thought about having someone move it for her, but the questions and speculation would be too much to bear. As it was, she was sure that everyone on the ship *knew* Marcus was sleeping in her quarters.

Susan quietly slipped in, making sure not to disturb Marcus. She peaked in to her bedroom, watching him sleeping quietly. She leaned against the door jam, staring at him. She was glad he wasn't awake. She hadn't felt this happy since she was a little girl before she had found out about the Psi Corps. She also admitted that she was scared. She knew she'd have to deal with her fear of losing him along with all the other emotions that she'd kept bottled up. She wanted to run to him and hold him, reassuring herself he was real.

Suddenly, her stomach growled. Susan realized that it was time to eat. Obviously, Marcus hadn't had anything, so she slipped down to the galley to get them something.

Susan brought back the food and placed it on the table quietly. She looked in at Marcus again, who was still sleeping. She smiled and closed the door. _Might as well get through my messages before we eat._

The first message was from Stephen. Nothing more than to call him back…no matter the time. She quickly established a link between her ship and Babylon 5.

"Hello, Stephen," Susan smiled at him. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well. I take it he's there?" Stephen asked taking in her calm appearance. Susan could see the chaos around him, thinking her timing was impeccable as always.

"He's here. Stephen, I can call you back later, if it's more convenient. You look busy."

"Nothing around here is ever convenient. I have the same wish as Garibaldi…just 24 hours of peace and quiet." Stephen shook his head. "How's my favorite patient?"

"He's sleeping."

"Good. He's not allowed to do anything for the next two weeks other than rest and relax. No fighting. No saving a certain captain in distress. He's not fully recovered. I'm not even sure two weeks will be sufficient. Just keep an eye on him, okay?"

"You have my word, Stephen."

"Susan, you're going to tell him, aren't you?" Stephen looked worried. He knew how hard it was for her to admit her feelings.

"Tell him what?"

"What you told me in MedLab after he died."

"I'm surprised you didn't tell him already."

"I never break my patient confidentiality, no matter how badly I want to. He deserves to know."

"I'll tell him. Perhaps not the same way, though. I was a little emotional at the time."

"You call throwing everyone out of MedLab and screaming at me emotional? It's just part of the Susan Ivanova we all know and love." Stephen chuckled.

"How did you do it, Stephen? Make Marcus part of the living again, I mean."

"Trade secret. I've adjusted the records so that Marcus never was officially dead, just missing in action. Can you imagine what would happen around here if everyone thought I could raise the dead? MedLab would become the Mecca for every space-faring race. This is our secret. Don't tell anyone he was dead."

"Thank you, Stephen. I owe you one."

"Actually, between the two of you, you owe me a whole lot more than one. Especially from Marcus' side. I'm glad to get him off the station, though. I just have to have his name removed from his usual spot in MedLab." Stephen looked off for a moment. "Look, I've gotta go. I want weekly reports on him. Keep him out of trouble."

"No problem. I'll talk to you later." Stephen started laughing.

"Obviously you need to know Marcus better. Keeping him out of trouble is a full time job. Franklin out."

Susan quickly dispatched the rest of her messages. She didn't hear the door slide shut as Marcus closed it, not wanting Susan to know he'd been eavesdropping on her.

"Marcus," Susan whispered into his ear. "Marcus, are you hungry?"

"Susan," Marcus yawned. He'd been pretending he was asleep when he'd heard her quietly moving around her room. He opened his eyes and looked at her, smiling slightly. "Good morning."

"Actually, it's good evening. Sorry about waking you, but I have dinner. I figured you'd be hungry."

"You cooked?" Marcus looked astonished.

"No. I picked something up from the mess."

"I am kind of hungry." Marcus smiled at Susan. He wanted to grab her and pull her next to him. They needed to talk, though. Susan reached over and pushed a strand of hair off his face. Marcus grabbed her hand and kissed the inside of her palm, looking at her openly. All of the love he felt for her was obvious.

"Stephen says you need to rest and relax. Behave yourself, Marcus. I don't want to have to strap you down to the bed." Susan glared at him, not bothering to pull her hand away. She wanted to stay here…next to him…and pretend the world only contained the two of them.

"So that's what you're into…" Marcus began.

"Get up." Susan jerked her hand away and stood up. "I'll be in the other room…waiting for you to hurry up. You're not the only one who's hungry." Susan quickly left the room. She couldn't believe the desire, love and hope that were flowing through her. _I thought I'd dealt with him being gone…being dead. It's like he wasn't gone…like the last two years haven't existed._ Susan shook her head and began laying out the food. She fought back the tears that were threatening again, not noticing that her hands were trembling. She also didn't notice the man who had moved behind her. She felt hands on her shoulders and tried to fight off the tears.

"Are you okay?" Marcus asked quietly. Susan shrugged her shoulders, afraid to turn around. "Susan, look at me." Marcus told her. She turned around slowly.

"Marcus, why did you do it? Why didn't you just let me die?"

"Because I loved you…and I love you. I couldn't let you die. There was something I could do to help and I did it. Simple as that." Marcus knew she was upset. She needed to talk it out and he needed to hear it. He wanted to know how she felt. She'd kept so much inside, he wasn't sure what went on in her head.

"You should have asked me."

"You were unconscious and unable to speak at the time. Besides, you would have said no. Susan, I couldn't live without you. I lost everyone I cared about. I have very few friends. My sacrifice was the right one."

"No, it wasn't." Susan screamed at him, moving away. "It was wrong. You killed yourself so that I could live so that you didn't have to live without me. That's exactly what you did to me. You made me live without…" Susan turned away, refusing to look at Marcus.

"Without me?" Marcus asked. "I didn't think you cared."

"You didn't ask. You just assumed." Susan kept her back to Marcus, staring at the wall in front of her and trying to force down emotions she thought she could control. She stepped away from him, trying to separate him from the feelings that were threatening to control her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Marcus asked, hoping that what he wanted to believe was true.

"You didn't give me a chance…"

"You had all the chances in the world. I never turned away from you. I never dismissed you like an unwanted problem. All you had to do was say you cared."

"You didn't say anything until you hooked yourself up to that damned machine," Susan's voice cracked with emotion. She continued in a whisper. "As I was dying, I thought it was God saying "I love you." In all the old movies he has a corny English accent. I was dragged down, back into my body. I forced my eyes open and saw you. I *knew* what you had done. I tried to get that damned machine off me…off you. I couldn't move. I couldn't help you. I couldn't…" Susan was crying, unable to stop the flow of tears. Marcus stepped in front of her and wrapped his arms around her. She faced him. "I couldn't tell you that I loved you too."

"Susan, I love you. I have for a long time. I was afraid you'd throw it back in my face…let me know there was no chance at all for us. That's why I didn't tell you. I didn't want my hopes and dreams smashed." Marcus kissed her forehead gently.

"I wouldn't have done that…" Susan began.

"I seem to remember some roses." Marcus smiled at her. "And I didn't even send them to you. You might not do that now, but then…I didn't want to take the chance. I figured that having you near and treating me like a friend was better than having you avoid me and treat me like the plague."

"Well…" Susan began as Marcus kissed her again…this time on her lips.

"Shhh. No more regrets. We have another chance. This time it's going to work." Susan smiled at Marcus and agreed with a return kiss.

-30-


End file.
